Can Santa's reindeer really fly?
Would you like to know how Santa's reindeer fly?
Keep reading to learn more!
I'm Santa's Grumpy Elf.
Can reindeer fly? Can >Santa's reindeer really fly? Of course reindeer can fly! Well, Santa's reindeer anyway. What, did you think? They snorkel?
(What a silly question. Next there'll be people asking if Santa Claus is really real.)
Now, if you want to know how Santa's reindeer fly, you've come to the right place.
Except... I can't tell you! And it's not just because I'm a grumpy elf. (For once!) I can't tell you how Santa gets his reindeer to fly.
So why can't I tell you how reindeer fly? Because -- it's a SECRET! (But I'll give you some hints! 😉) After all, can you imagine what it would be like if everyone knew how to fly like Santa and his flying reindeer? There would be people and cows & cats and dogs flying around everywhere!
But there are lots of ways Santa could get his reindeer to fly. Shh, but Santa might just be using one of these:
Keep reading to find out more about Santa's sneaky sleigh-flying shenanigans!
>Have you heard about drones and hoverboards? Have you heard about using drones and hoverboards to deliver presents? Well, guess who invented drones and hoverboards?
>That's right, Santa and the elves!
>We've been using drones and hoverboards for home delivery for centuries!
>It took a little bit to teach the reindeer how to use them, but nobody can fly a drone or hoverboard like a reindeer can! What do you think those reindeer games are all about anyway?
>This is the oldest answer to how reindeer fly.
>Everyone knows all it takes is a little magic dust to fly. Just ask pixies!
>Santa and the elves created the top secret formulae for making magic flying dust a long time ago.
>Reindeer are perfect to pull the sleigh because they like the cold weather where Santa lives and they are very strong!
>Long ago, Santa Claus and the elves discovered a special formula of Magical Reindeer Food which makes reindeer fly. The reindeer eat this food all year long. It gives them enough magic to fly around the world. The magical mushrooms and special reindeer lichen are found only where Santa lives.
>Most reindeer cannot fly. But Santa's reindeer are special! They have supernatural powers!
>Do you know people who are really good at something? Just like I'm really good at being grumpy? Well, Santa watches for reindeer that are very talented (like this little guy). Then he teaches them all they need to know to fly.
>Elves are very good at using science and elfin magic to create new things. If they can dream it; they can make it! They created special genetically modified reindeer by crossing them with a Pegasus. They also made the reindeer lighter than air by filling their lungs with helium. But could they create something so I'm not so grumpy? No, of course not!
>Professor Ian Stewart, a former maths professor at Warwick University, has researched the topic too.
Reindeer have a curious arrangement of gadgetry on top of their heads which we call antlers and naively assume exist for the males to do battle and to win females. This is absolute nonsense. The antlers are actually fractal vortex-shedding devices. We are talking not aerodynamics here, but antlaerodynamics. At the speeds Santa's reindeer travel to deliver gifts, their antler-tips create enough lift to allow them to fly.
>You only need two things to fly: lift and desire (thrust).
>Everyone knows Santa's reindeers' antlers are very big. They can catch children's Christmas wishes and dreams. These wishes and dreams give the reindeer the two things they need to fly: 1. the lift in their spirit and, 2. the desire to make more children happy.
>Once presents start to be delivered, Santa's reindeer fly even faster. As children around the world open their presents, the children are filled with pure Christmas joy. The reindeer's antlers catch the children's Christmas joy too. This joy gives the reindeer and Santa even more of a lift and thrust. They fly and work ever faster delivering more presents for children to open! This virtuous circle makes it so the sleigh essentially floats on air.
>Too bad I only got a headache when I tried to grow Christmas antlers!
>Elves cracked the secret of Time Warps and Wormholes a long time ago (well, it was only a few seconds ago if you time travel back to when they did it!).
>They use science so Santa's sleigh can sit in a small bubble of the space-time fabric. They just need the reindeers' antlers to create and keep the bubble going! Of course, the elves' wormhole technology also provides cosmic short-cuts (that means time-travel). This makes it really easy to visit all the homes in one night.
Now that you have some ideas about HOW Santa's reindeer fly, I'll bet you want to know how FAST Santa's reindeer can fly.
Put it this way, you do NOT want to have to try to catch one! Santa's flying reindeer are that FAST! Even regular old reindeer can run faster than a human for any distance. When I have to catch one with my short little elf legs, I get VERY grumpy!
And if you really must know, Santa's reindeer can fly so fast that they time travel! At least that is one theory about how Santa gets around the world so fast.
I think some people are just born confused. It's Santa's reindeer that are born to fly, not Santa! Me, I was just born grumpy (which I think is way better than being born confused).
So, can Santa Claus fly? The short answer is no.
However, you should see how fast he runs when Mrs. Claus shouts out
Ok, maybe some people might think he flies then (but I still think they were born confused).
Maybe they think Santa's sleigh can fly and it's not the reindeer flying?!
Answers to more questions about Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elves and reindeer!